The Veterinarian in Hot Water
by SciFiDVM
Summary: A body is discovered reduced to bones and slime at a Veterinary College in Mississippi, and the FBI and Jeffersonian are determined to catch the murderer.
1. Prologue

**Title: **The Veterinarian in Hot Water

**Summary: **A body is discovered, reduced to bones and ash, at aVeterinary College in Mississippi

**Pairings:** B/B UST, A/H UST, maybe more than UST for either later… we'll see where the muse takes me

**Time frame:** post S04E11- The Bone that Blew

**Spoilers:** Nothing other than the general plot of the TV show through The Bone that Blew

**Rating:** T (not gonna write anything you wouldn't see or hear on the TV show)

**Legalese:** How do those Law & Order episodes always start… "While inspired in part by recent events, the story depicted is entirely fictional and not meant to portray any specific individual or situation."

All characters are not mine (except me, one of the interns in this story is based loosely off of some of my experiences, and I'm certainly mine… wait, that didn't make sense…) and this is entirely for entertainment purposes. No copyright infringement intended.

**The Veterinarian in Hot Water**

Prologue

Booth took his time. His aim was precise. He concentrated on his human target, the spot right between the eyes. He calculated for wind vectors, movement of the target, and the natural curvature of the course of the projectile. He took a deep breath and fired.

His pointer finger made direct contact with the paper football held in place between the pointer finger of his other hand and the clipboard on his lap. It coursed with deadly precision and hit Sweets squarely between the eyes. Booth threw his arms up triumphantly.

"Home run!" His partner, seated next to him, announced proudly.

"No, Bones. It's 'field goal'. You know, paper _football_." He corrected.

"Really? Then which one is 'home run'?"

"Baseball, Bones, baseball. The one with the bat and the bases."

"Oh." She nodded, mentally cataloguing the fact.

Sweets, who had seen the paper assault coming a mile away, had not even changed his facial expression until now. "Agent Booth, that was not what I meant by 'putting your goals to paper'."

"Ya see Sweets, I just don't see the point in writing down our New Year Resolutions." Booth argued. Just then his cell phone rang. An expression just short of pure glee crossed his face as he checked the caller ID. "I gotta take this." He smiled and answered the phone, "Special Agent Booth."

"I think this means we have a case." Bones smiled with mock politeness at the therapist.

"Bones, we've got a case." Booth announced as he stood, grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair, and began putting it on. "Sorry Sweets, gotta go."

Sweets stood, opened his mouth to make an objection, then closed it as he realized that they were already half way out the door.

"That was an excellent display of marksmanship, Booth." Brennan's voice could be heard trailing off as the door to Sweets' office closed.

The slightly disheartened therapist picked up the clip boards off the agents' seats and removed the piece of paper still attached to Brennan's. A look of curiosity crossed his face. He quickly found Booth's paper football on the ground and unfolded the paper. A large smile began to tug at the corners of his lips.


	2. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** I'd hoped to be able to update this more quickly, but I'm on overnight emergency duty right now and have been pretty slammed. When my ability to treat patients depends on it, sleep must supersede fanfic writing. I've also got a couple case reports that I really need to finish and publish, so updating might be a little slow for the next 1-2 weeks. I hate it when real life interrupts fanfic.

**The Veterinarian in Hot Water**

Chapter 1

"See Bones, isn't this great? I could be wearing sandals right now if I wanted." Booth had spent the entire plane ride from Washington DC to Mississippi enthralled with the idea of mid-70's weather in mid January. "Sure is better than sleet and snow, am I right?"

"I admit, the temperate weather is a welcomed change. Though I think you would look unprofessional if you wore sandals to a murder investigation." She answered as they pulled the rental car into the parking lot of the sprawling Veterinary Teaching Hospital attached to the Mississippi State University College of Veterinary Medicine.

There were parked police cruisers at the mesh wire gate around the side of the building, and the pair pulled up to the gate. "Which way to the body?" Booth asked as he flashed his badge to the young patrolman. He pointed around the back of the building and ushered them through the gate. They parked the car next to the unmarked black van, likely belonging to the coroner, and another police car. The remainder of the vehicles parked at the back entrance to the clinic building marked "Large Animal Entrance" were cargo vans clearly marked with the Mississippi State University logo, and a couple of older model pick-up trucks attached to livestock trailers of various size and design.

A small, squirrely man with prematurely graying hair and mild scoliosis paced nervously at the entrance to the hospital, wringing his hands. When he saw the agents exit their car, he quickly walked over to them and greeted them excessively. "I'm Dr. Lynn Rhiner. I'm the Hospital Chief Academic and Economic Affairs Administrator. You must be the F.B.I. It's good to have you here. I don't know how this happened at my hospital.", he said with an odd accent. It was fraught with the twangy tones of the deep south, but the words were spoken slowly and deliberately, as if to attempt to hide the accent.

"Thank you for calling us. I'm Special Agent Booth, and this is my partner, Dr. Brennan from the Jeffersonian Institute. If you could show us to the body we would appreciate it."

"Of course. Right this way." He led them into the hospital and began wringing his hands again.

"Ugh! What's that smell?" Booth protested, clasping a hand to his mouth as they walked down a concrete floored corridor.

"It smells like manure. Mostly equine, but some bovine I suspect as well." Brennan answered her partner.

"Good nose Dr. Brennan. Did you grow up on a cattle farm?" Dr. Rhiner asked.

A sound somewhat like a snort escaped Booth's mouth as she answered, "I was first exposed to the odors of various herbivore feces while performing an excavation of a mass grave in the Middle East. The site of the suspected grave was near one of the royal Arabian horse stud farms. They had attempted to hide the smell of the decomposing corpses by covering the grave site with manure and compost from the stable. The smell was really quite…"

"Ok, Bones, we get the picture." Booth interrupted as the administrator's face began to turn green. They had stopped at as set of metal double doors standing 15 feet tall and 10 feet wide. There was a track running along the ceiling from another nearby room with similar doors, and a hook and hoist rested in the track near the other door.

Here a small round woman in her 50's with white hair pulled into a pony-tail greeted them cheerily, "Well y'all certainly have come a long way! I'm Melanie. I run the pathology, necropsy, and cremation services here at MSU. Unfortunately that makes me the one that found the body." She shook both their hands and they introduced themselves. The woman was wearing cover-alls and tall rubber boots, similar to the field work garb that Brennan had donned at the nearby hotel before setting out to the crime scene. However, this woman's coveralls were well worn, moderately stained with substances Booth dared not try to identify, and exuded an odor he also preferred to avoid. She pushed open the large metal doors and cold, foul smelling air rushed out at them.

"Whoa!" Booth gagged. "That smells... whoa." The hand returned to his mouth as the partners and the pathologist entered the cooler. Booth looked over and saw the wirey administrator in his well pressed suit quickly find somewhere else to be.

Melanie led the way through the walk-in pathology cooler to another set of large double doors at the far end. Booth was the only one that seemed bothered by the two cow carcasses and the dead pig stacked on one side of the cooler, and two horse bodies suspended from hoists on the tracks in the 15 foot ceiling by their back legs. On a shelf in the corner, about four black garbage bags were tied with what looked like toe tags and, Booth guessed by their size, contained dogs and/or cats. Melanie recognized Booth's discomfort and commented, "I'm sorry 'bout the cooler. Probably should have warned ya. I work with this stuff everyday and can sometimes forget it's a little creepy if you ain't used to it. All these are pets that died while being treated here, were brought here for a necropsy, that's like an autopsy for animals, or to have their remains cremated."

"You don't have this kind of reaction to the morgue." Bones commented, slightly confused.

"Human bodies, I guess I've gotten used to. I'm sorry, but seeing My Friend Flicka hanging from the roof by a leg is a little unsettling." Booth commented as they walked through the next set of doors onto a platform with a huge covered metal vat.

"You were friends with one of these animals?" Bones asked.

"No. _My Friend Flicka_… It was a kids' book about a horse… there was a movie recently…" Booth tried. She still looked confused. "Never mind."

"Here it is." Melanie announced, now looking slightly uncomfortable. She pushed a button on the wall and the lid slid off the large vat. The three walked up a set of metal grate stairs along-side the 6 foot tall and 10 foot diameter vat to a platform that flanked the back side of it. A stack of bones, including what looked like a human skull, sat on a grate elevated above a small puddle of gooey fluid.

"What is this thing?" Booth asked.

"Our incinerator was real old, like from the 60's. It produced all manner of toxins and smoke when it incinerated remains, so recently the EPA made us shut it down and get this big boy." Melanie patted the side of the large metal tank and a metallic clang reverberated.

"So now you, what, boil the bodies?" Booth asked.

His partner answered, "No Booth. It's a chemical digester. It breaks down bodies by a process called alkaline hydrolysis. Water, potassium hydroxide, heat, and pressure are used to break down the body's soft tissue into a syrup-like fluid that is sterile, environmentally friendly, and can be flushed down a drain safely. The bones are left in a state that can be easily pulverized to form a powder that looks like typical cremains."

"Very good, Dr. Brennan." Melanie smiled. "I had set the digester to take care of a couple cadavers from the anatomy lab last night. I came down to check on them this morning and found this. At first I thought maybe somebody had been doing a research project with monkeys and just tossed the bodies in last night when they were done. That type of thing happens some times. But I checked, and we don't have no one certified to be working with non-human primates right now. So I called the cops."

Dr. Brennan climbed down a ladder into the vat and began inspecting the bones. "This is certainly not a non-human primate. It's a female, Caucasian, in her thirties."

"Cause of death?" Booth asked.

"I can't tell yet. But we'll have a better idea when we get the bones back to the Jeffersonian." She answered. She then addressed Melanie, "Where does the digester drain its waste fluid?"

"There's a 3,000 gallon holding tank beneath this platform." She replied.

"We'll need it all sent to the Jeffersonian." Brennan informed Booth.

He took out his cell phone, flipped it open, and punched a number. As he waited for someone to answer on the other end, he remarked to Brennan, "3,000 gallons of slime. Hodgins is going to love this." The person on the other end of the line apparently answered and Booth informed them, "This is agent Booth. We are going to need that recovery team, and something to transport a few tons of goop. Thanks."


End file.
